The Recomp Chronicles

Author: mlfergus

  • De-load Week: The (Supposed) Calm Before Phase 2

    You ever notice how the universe seems to have a sixth sense (I see sleepy people) for screwing with your sleep? This week was supposed to be my big “rest and recharge” week — a de-load before kicking off Phase 2. Instead, I got a parade of late-night curveballs: heartburn from poor pizza choices, multiple dog puke alarms, and even a 1 AM flash flood alert.

    So yeah — not exactly the deep, restorative slumber I had in mind. But here’s the funny part: even with garbage sleep, my body still moved (sloooooowly, stubbornly) in the right direction.

    The Numbers Don’t Lie (Even if the Scale Does)

    • Weight: Bounced around thanks to salty meals (210.4 → 209.6 lbs range), but my waist shrank another notch to 38.4 inches.
    • Body Fat % (tape): 27.3 → 27.1% (small but steady drop).
    • Lean Mass: Holding steady around 153 lbs.
    • Soreness: Never above 1/10 all week.

    Translation: the scale noise was water retention, not fat gain. The waistline is still trimming down, and the fat % (via tape) is sliding in the right direction. That’s the exact outcome I wanted from de-load week — joints fresh, body still trending leaner, ready to push harder again.

    Training on Cruise Control

    The gym sessions this week were short and sweet, everything was about form and blood flow, not weight.

    Add in:

    • Daily calf rehab walks (2.5–3.5 miles).
    • Dog walks every day (about a mile).
    • Steam room recovery 3x.

    Basically: I stayed moving, but never pushed the gas pedal. And my calves didn’t mutiny, which is a big win in itself.

    The Real Limiter: Sleep

    Every night was something, between eating too much salt later in the day (but so damned tasty), to eating cheap pizza and waking up with heartburn all through the night, my food choices and timing could have been better. And then the dogs decided that this week was a great time to puke. Or go outside. I mean, they did have to go to the bathroom, so I can’t be upset. I’d rather them wake me up then to make a mess inside, but it really messed up the sleep I was hoping for.

    The result? Sleep averaged about 5.5–6 hours/night, with broken chunks instead of long, restorative cycles. Energy during the day was “meh” at best, “dragging” at worst. But here’s the kicker — even with that, my waist still shrank, and the fat % still ticked down. That means the system’s working.

    Phase 2: What’s Next

    De-load week wasn’t glamorous, but it did its job: let the joints and muscles recover, hold my body comp steady, and mentally reset. Now it’s time to move forward.

    Here’s the Phase 2 game plan:

    • Strength Progression: Back to heavier lifting, pushing the main lifts toward true RPE 8–9 sets. More structured progression in shorter blocks.
    • Running Base: Transition from intervals and rehab walks into consistent 5K runs on Tuesdays and Thursdays, with Saturday long runs creeping past 3 miles into real endurance territory.
    • Nutrition Tweaks: Keep protein high, but add carbs on run days to fuel endurance (no more skimping here). Sodium awareness stays in play so the scale doesn’t gaslight me.
    • Recovery Insurance: Naps when I can sneak them in, hydration buffers around salty meals, and earlier wind-downs whenever possible.
    • Milestones in Sight: Sub-10:00 mile pace, 5K continuous running, push-ups and dips climbing past Phase 1 marks, waistline continuing its slow march down toward 38 → 37.

    The Verdict

    Deload week wasn’t pretty. The workouts were light, the sleep was trash, and the scale was lying to me. But the signals underneath all that noise? Leaner, tighter, and primed for Phase 2.

    Phase 1 was about getting consistent again. Phase 2 is where the results start compounding — heavier weights, longer runs, and smarter recovery.

    And if the universe could stop sending me early morning dog puke, that’d be great too.

    Still Lifting. Still Losing. Still Showing Up. (Usually)

  • Phase 1 Wrap-Up – Six Weeks of Showing Up

    Dogs are the best alarm clocks and the worst recovery tools. Most mornings, I’m up at 4 AM to hit the gym, but some nights I’m already awake because Ivy, my youngest, has decided to boop me square in the face at 2 AM like a drunk friend confessing their love. “Hey. Hey. Hey. Guess what?! I fuckin’ love you man.” Meanwhile, Bane, my older hound, itches from allergies, then needs to go outside. After all, he’s up, so why not? A full, uninterrupted night of sleep? Rare as Bigfoot flying a UFO.

    But six weeks later, I’ve learned something: consistency doesn’t mean perfection. It means showing up even when the night before was chaos. It means stringing together enough good days that the bad ones don’t completely screw up your progress.

    The verdict? Mission accomplished — in a George W. Bush sort of way.

    The Numbers (July 19 → Aug 31)

    • Weight: 208.4 lb → 208.2 lb (flat, but the real story is in the details)
    • Body Fat % (tape): 28.6% → 27.3% (–1.3%)
    • Waist: 39.5 in → 38.6 in (–0.9 in)
    • Lean Mass: +2.5 lb
    • Fat Mass: –2.7 lb

    Fitness Test Highlights:

    • Plank: 60s → 70s
    • Push-Ups: 15 → 20
    • Pull-Ups: 5 → 6
    • Dips: 8 → 9
    • Wall Sit: 45s → 60s

    Not breaking records, but breaking my old limits — and that’s the whole point.

    Wins

    • Consistency streak: I finally stacked six weeks of gym sessions, runs, mobility, and recovery. Not perfect attendance, but no disappearing acts either.
    • Logging became a habit: Every lift, every run, every measurement tracked. The data pile is now a foundation, not a chore.
    • Recovery tools came online: Steam room, EMS, massage gun — when used, they worked.
    • Walking became non-negotiable: Daily walks with Bane and Ivy. Some days that was the win, and it was enough.

    Challenges

    • Calf sabotage: My left calf staged a revolt near the end of the phase, forcing me to swap runs for rehab walks. It was a reminder that durability comes before distance.
    • Sleep disruptions: Between dogs and on-call shifts, “uninterrupted sleep” was more of a fantasy. Some mornings the real victory was just getting out of bed.
    • Balancing lifting and running: Learning how much was enough without tipping into too much took trial, error, and a couple strained muscles.
    • Biggest Challenge = Me: Mentally, I’m still my own biggest roadblock. I can overthink, second-guess, or want to scrap it all when things don’t go perfectly. But this time, I didn’t.

    Lessons Learned

    The single biggest lesson from Phase 1: missing workouts doesn’t mean failure.

    I missed Fridays. I missed Saturdays. Sometimes back-to-back weeks. In the past, that would’ve been the end. I would’ve scrapped the plan and “restarted later” (translation: months down the road when I looked in the mirror and wondered when I was due).

    This time, I just kept showing up. Mondays were my reset button. Dog walks were my insurance policy. A bad day, a bad night of sleep, or a missed workout didn’t derail the whole thing — it was just like tripping on a raised bit of sidewalk. I stumbled, caught myself, and kept going.

    I also learned that:

    • Recovery matters as much as training. Push through a strain and you lose weeks. Rest smart and you’re back in days.
    • Data = accountability. Logging everything, even the ugly sessions, kept me honest.
    • Consistency isn’t about streaks, it’s about persistence.

    Recomp Week (Deload)

    This week isn’t about progress, it’s about preservation. The plan:

    • Training: Light weights, mobility, calf rehab, walks, maybe some biking.
    • Nutrition: Simple, clean meals. More protein, less fluff. Sandwiches and salads are the name of the game.
    • Recovery: Steam room and sauna back in the mix, EMS/TENS daily for the calf, compression on rotation.

    It’s not retreat — it’s reset.

    Looking Ahead – Phase 2

    Phase 2 officially starts Sept 7, with the half marathon training plan launching Sept 14. The goals:

    • Push gym weights upward with a fresh baseline.
    • Rebuild my running base without re-aggravating the calf.
    • Keep recovery non-negotiable.

    The foundation is built. Now it’s time to layer strength and endurance onto it.

    Closing

    Phase 1 is done. I’m leaner, stronger, and still standing. Not because everything went perfectly — it didn’t — but because I kept showing up. Even when the calf blew up. Even when sleep didn’t happen. Even when Ivy booped me awake at 2 AM to remind me that she loved me.

    The base is built. Recomp week is here. Next stop: Phase 2.

    Still lifting. Still losing. Still showing up. Usually.

  • Week 6 Mid-Week Recap

    Sunday Reset – Week 6 Kickoff
    Sometimes the best training move is no training at all. After cramping through Saturday’s run, I skipped my planned Lone Mountain walk and gave my calf a real break. Instead, I caught up on sleep, food prep, and a whole lot of nothing. Funny thing is, that “nothing” might have been the smartest thing I did all week.

    The grogginess from a CBD gummy reminded me that recovery isn’t just about muscles—it’s also about the nervous system and sleep quality. With soreness easing and the week ahead mapped out, I’m stepping into Week 6 not burnt out, not behind—just ready to keep stacking consistent days.

    Monday
    Ivy decided 3 AM was the perfect time to puke, and Bane chimed in later with his itching routine, so sleep wasn’t exactly awesome. Still, I managed to shake it off and head in for leg day.

    The session itself went well — I’m still dialing in that upper limit on the leg press. The tricky part is finding a load that pushes strength without wrecking my legs for the next day’s run. That balance between strength and endurance is Phase 1 in a nutshell: building a base without overcooking anything.

    It’s the last week of this phase, and I want to finish it proud — consistent, steady, and ready to earn that de-load before Phase 2 cranks things up.

    Tuesday
    Planned: continuous 4K run. Reality: calf had other ideas. The left side cramped again, so the run became another run/walk. Frustrating, since hydration and electrolytes were on point yesterday and this morning. So, it’s likely not an issue with hydration.

    So I’ll take it easy today and keep icing and stretching, and hope that adding a compression sleeve Thursday will help. And next week is my scheduled de-load week, so I won’t be going quite as hard at the gym.

    Wednesday

    Last night’s sleep finally cooperated, and it showed up in the gym today. The chest and triceps session moved well, and it felt good to rack weights without second-guessing if I had anything left in the tank. It’s also the last stretch of my on-call rotation, which means soon I can get back to one of my favorite recovery tools: steam room sessions. I’ve missed them more than I expected.

    Midweek, the body feels solid and the mindset is steady. I know the measurements will be what they’ll be, but I feel like I’m actually putting in the kind of work that will start to show. Progress may not always be obvious day to day, but stringing together weeks like this is what gets me to the bigger goals. Right now, I’m hitting the gym hard and staying locked in—that’s a win.

    Still Lifting. Still Losing (My Mind). Still Showing Up (Usually).

  • The Recomp Chronicles – Week 5: Yay! But Boo! But Yay!

    Thursday – Longest Run in a While

    Today was a good step forward. I stretched my intervals to 90 seconds run / 30 seconds walk and logged 3 miles in just under 35 minutes. That’s the longest run I’ve managed in quite a while, and while I could feel the effort, it felt good to push the distance a bit.

    One issue still lingering: that hot spot on the ball of my right foot. Even trying some new socks, it crept in again. It does fade as I go, but I’d rather solve it than keep hoping it disappears. Next step will be experimenting with lacing — if that doesn’t work, I may have to get a little more creative.

    Friday – Finally a Friday Session
    Sleep tracking apps are liars. Mine swears I didn’t actually fall asleep until 10:45, but I was out cold by 8:30. Aside from a quick bathroom trip at 1 AM, it was actually a solid night. Not perfect, but definitely better than the graph of doom my phone showed me.

    The big win: I FINALLY made it to the gym on a Friday. First time this whole phase. I felt a little punky, like I’m still fighting something off, but I got in, knocked out the workout, and it felt good to tick that box at last. No steam today since I’m on-call — my phone and steam don’t play nice.

    Fingers crossed that tomorrow’s run goes smooth. It’s the first full week of gym I’ve strung together, and that is a huge win this week.

    Saturday – Two Miles, One Long Day
    The plan was a straight two-mile run, but the body had other ideas. I made it about three-quarters of a mile before my left calf started cramping, and with the sinus junk still hanging around, breathing wasn’t exactly smooth either. Lesson learned: some days are about grinding, not shining.

    Saturday as a whole was a marathon of a different kind — Daisy’s first Taekwondo tournament as a black belt. Proud dad moment, but it meant we were out the door by 7:45 and on our feet until nearly 4:30. Food was a mess: quick cereal before leaving, a protein bar somewhere in the middle, chili cheese fries when I realized I couldn’t wait another three hours, and Cane’s chicken strips for dinner. Basically, famine followed by feast, with very little water in between.

    Mood took a hit when the run went sideways, and energy yo-yo’d all day thanks to the food situation and whatever bug I’m fighting off. Still, it was a day worth showing up for — both in the gym earlier this week and cheering Daisy on all day. Progress doesn’t always look like clean splits or perfect macros, but it stacks all the same.

    End of Week 5 Wrap
    The week closed out with some oddball measurements — weight up, waist stuck — but that’s almost certainly from Saturday’s salt bomb and barely any water. Chili cheese fries + Cane’s chicken strips after a long day on my feet with no hydration is basically a recipe for bloat.

    The bigger takeaway? For the first time this phase I actually hit every gym session and every run. None of it looked perfect — some lifts felt rough, the calf cramped on Saturday’s run — but I showed up and got the work done. The tape measure and progress trend are still pointing in the right direction, and that’s the win that matters.

    Still Lifting. Still Losing. Still Showing Up. (Usually)

  • Midweek Check-In – Finding the Groove

    Sunday 8/10 – Quiet Reset

    Sunday was as standard as it gets for a rest day. I knocked out my weekly measurements, prepped food for the week, got some reading in, and kept things low-key.
    Sleep was solid, soreness was basically gone, and while my energy wasn’t off the charts, it didn’t need to be — nothing major was planned. Mood was good overall.
    I probably ate a little more than I should have — weekends always test discipline — but that’s part of the process. The important thing was getting meals prepped and structure in place for the week ahead.

    Monday – Sleepy Strong Start

    Last night’s sleep was so good it left me a little “sleep drunk” in the morning. I shook it off at the gym with a solid leg day, then got the dogs out for their walk. That turned into a full-on social hour when we ran into another pair of basset hounds — lots of sniffing and hanging out, not much actual walking.
    Soreness stayed minimal, mood was good, and energy was decent overall. I even snuck in a quick power nap to top things off. Not a bad way to kick off the week.

    Tuesday – Early Start, Hot Spot Hustle

    Sleep was a little off thanks to Daisy’s late Taekwondo and Bane’s early wake-up call. I lost about an hour overall, so energy wasn’t where I wanted it, but I still got up and knocked out my run.
    The run itself went well — 2.5 miles in 30 minutes — though I’m still chasing down the hot spot on the ball of my right foot. It fades as I go, but I’d rather fix it than keep hoping it disappears.

    Wednesday – Midweek Switch-Up

    The gym felt good today, and I switched things up with a different routine. The goal was simple: adjust lifts and sets so I’d have time to squeeze in a steam session afterward for recovery. Mission accomplished on the time side at least, I didn’t add in the steam session yet, that will come in in a couple of weeks.
    Sleep wasn’t perfect — Tuesday nights rarely are — but it wasn’t a disaster either. I’ll try to make up for it the rest of the week and, fingers crossed, actually get into the gym on Friday.
    On-call starts back up tomorrow, but for now the slate looks clean. We’ll see how long that lasts.

    Still Lifting. Still Losing. Still Showing Up. (Usually)

  • The Recomp Chronicles – Week 4: Life Happens

    Thursday – Life Happens, Keep Moving

    Got my run in and it felt solid — legs, lungs, and pace all right where I wanted them, even with an early wake-up call from Bane. At 2:30 AM, he decided it was bathroom break time. I got both dogs outside, then grabbed a little more sleep before my 4:15 wake-up. Dogs got their walk in right after my run, so at least they’re happy.

    GMB didn’t make the cut today. Daisy forgot her flute, which meant a detour home, missing the bus, and me stuck in construction traffic on the way to the school. By the time I got back and finished laundry, my workout window was gone. Not an ideal day, but life happens. The important thing is I hit my run and didn’t let the chaos derail the whole day. Wins come in different shapes, and today’s was keeping the main thing the main thing.

    Friday – Back Says “Nope”

    Keeping the tradition alive — another Friday without a gym session. Woke up with my back feeling tight and sore, and since today was back day, pushing it didn’t seem smart. Instead, I went with the heating pad and some stretching, which helped loosen things up. Skipped GMB too, partly because of the back, partly because of an early meeting that ate up my window. At least the dogs got their walk in, so it wasn’t a total zero.

    On the plus side, sleep was solid. Just had to make it through the day and into Daisy’s black belt ceremony — followed by a very late dinner.

    Saturday – Too Much of a Good Thing

    The black belt ceremony dinner went a lot longer than expected, and I paid for it. Between eating hibachi way later than usual and getting to bed way later than usual, my stomach wasn’t happy and my sleep was trash. I didn’t have the energy to fight late-night hibachi and poor sleep just to eek out a 2-mile run, so I called it. Sometimes the smart play is to accept the loss, recover, and move on.

    Week 4 Wrap-Up – The Numbers Behind the Week

    This week’s check-in compared to last Sunday (Aug 10 → Aug 17):

    • Weight: 208.0 → 209.2 lbs (+1.2 lbs)
    • Body Fat %: 27.74% → 27.63% (-0.11%)
    • Neck: 14.14″ → 14.14″ (no change)
    • Waist: 38.83″ → 38.76″ (-0.07″)

    On paper, it looks like I gained a pound. But the more important story is that my waist shrank slightly and my body fat % ticked lower. That means composition is improving even if the scale pretends otherwise.

    The culprit? Friday night hibachi at Daisy’s black belt ceremony — salty, carb-loaded food hours later than I usually eat. Combine that with poor sleep, and it’s no surprise the scale popped up.

    The real takeaway: trends in waist and body fat matter more than the week-to-week number on the scale. The training, nutrition, and recovery habits are working — the proof is in the shrinking waistline, not the daily weigh-in.

  • Mid-Week Check-In: Beating the All-Nighter Hangover

    Last Friday night’s DR fiasco could’ve wrecked my whole week — the kind of all-nighter that used to leave me foggy, cranky, and sore for days.

    This time? Different story. I gave Saturday to damage control (low movement, enough food to function, plenty of water), then made Sunday all about recovery.

    I slept great Saturday night, and spent Sunday relaxing, took a nap, and just enjoyed not getting any emergency calls from work.

    It’s proof that recovery isn’t magic — it’s a skill you can practice. Nail the basics (sleep, hydration, protein, and not pretending you’re still 19), and even a rough night doesn’t have to derail your training week.

    Monday

    Solid start to the week. A little tired, but my run felt good. Since I had missed Saturdays run due to the all-nighter, I did a run instead of leg day. After my run, Bane and Ivy enjoyed their walk. I seem to have come through the all-nighter with minimal fallout — a huge change compared to the last couple of times it took almost a week to feel normal again.

    Tuesday

    Woke up early thanks to an itchy Bane, but resisted the urge to stack another run so soon in half-marathon prep. Played the long game instead of chasing short-term mileage. The goal was to make sure the last traces of the all-nighter were well and truly gone — mission accomplished.

    Wednesday

    Wrapped up my first pass through the GMB Resilience program. I’m going to go through it again with an emphasis on cleaner form — especially transitioning from knee planks to full planks as my wrists loosen up. At 49, the joints have opinions, and my wrists still need some coaxing before they’re happy with the full range of motion.

    All in all it’s been a good week so far. The all-nighter threw me a curve ball, but I managed to come through it quickly and with no lingering effects.

    Still lifting. Still losing. Still showing up. (Usually)

  • Into Every Recomp, a Little WTF Must Fall

    Week 3 started on solid footing — runs were happening, lifts were moving, and the daily rhythm was clicking into place. But no recomp journey stays drama-free for long.

    Thursday:
    The run felt surprisingly smooth — no mental walls, just steady movement. Sure, I got a hot spot on the ball of my right foot, but that’s just part of getting the running legs back. GMB was a wrist-killer, which is what happens when you’re 49 and doing positions that make your joints question your life choices.

    Food? Forgettable. Scrambled eggs and a sandwich — fuel, not a culinary event. Energy was dragging thanks to a busy work week, plus trying to juggle certification study and journal projects, and the air quality right now is trash. But I still showed up. I’m not in love with running yet, but there’s a faint glimmer that I might get there if I keep at it.

    Friday:
    Sleep was a complete trainwreck — I was up multiple times through the night, then Ivy started horkin at 3 AM right under my spot on the bed. At some point I must have turned off my alarm, or I just forgot to set it, who knows, so I woke up at 5:20 wondering what year it was.

    Back and biceps didn’t happen — the energy tank was bone dry — but I still got my GMB workand the daily dog walk in. Calves were still talking to me from earlier in the week (duck walks, I’m looking at you).

    Even on a low-energy day, I didn’t just throw in the towel — kept the habits alive. That’s the real win.

    Then came the cluster-fuck that is a DR test. What should have been a relatively painless 2 or so hours turned into a 13-hour overnight session. It all ended up working in the end, but that didn’t help me feel any better physically!

    Saturday:
    Got to bed at 8 AM, back up at Noon. No gym. No run. No careful food tracking. Just coffee, electrolytes, and enough snacking to keep the lights on upstairs. By the time it ended, Saturday was a write-off for anything but damage control.

    The Scoreboard:

    • Weight: 210.8 → 208.0 (-2.8 lbs)
    • Body Fat %: 29.39% → 29.0%
    • Waist: -0.27″
    • Fat Mass: -1.6 lbs, lean mass dip minimal

    The lesson? In every recomp, a little WTF must fall. You can’t dodge all the curveballs — weird sleep, work chaos, random pet disasters — but you can decide if they derail your whole week.

    This time, I kept the wheels straight. The week still ended with progress on the scale, in the tape measure, and in the habit column. And that’s a win worth banking.

    Still lifting. Still losing. Still showing up. Usually.

  • Week 3 Midweek Recap – Building Momentum

    Week 3 kicked off with a little chaos, but the training rhythm is coming together, and I’m finding my footing with food, mobility, and the return to running.

    Sunday – Reset Mode

    Low-key recovery day. I didn’t leave the house, didn’t push it. I did get a nap in, so I felt rested and ready to hit the week.

    Monday – Leg Press Lunacy

    Kicked off the gym week with severly interupted sleep, but not from the dogs this time. The shower caddy decided to jump off the wall at 1 AM, and it was a bitch getting back to sleep. But I made it to the gym for bilateral legs and shoulders. I’m slowly pushing on weights to find my upper limit. I got the dogs out for their walk, and GMB afterward felt good.

    Tuesday – Back on the Road

    Finally ran again. Two miles of intervals to get my legs back into the groove.Got the dogs out for their walk, then did my GMB and mobility afterward. I had good energy all day which was a nice change.

    Wednesday – Chest and Triceps

    Chest and triceps day was solid even though the incline press had to move to the end of the session. Huge gym, but not always enough machines. Sadly, the steam room was down yet again, so I hit the sauna for a quick shot of recovery heat. Dogs got their walk in, and I hit my GMB flow.

    Midweek Mood

    Energy is holding. Sleep is still a bit wonky, but not wrecking me. Carbs are finally climbing without just shoving bread down my throat. Running’s back, and the weight is nudging down without giving up muscle. Here’s to momentum!

    Still lifting. Still losing. Still showing up (Usually).

  • The Recomp Chronicles – Week 2: Painful but Honest

    Week 2 of Fit by 50 is in the books, and let’s just say…it was a bit of a roller coaster. Not the exciting, loop-de-loop kind. More like one that you get to the top, feeling excited, and you go over the top and realize that they forgot to finish the tracks at the bottom.

    I started the week strong:

    • Monday was a solid legs and shoulders day, plus mobility, dog walks, and even a Kickfit session.
    • Protein was on point, water was on point, and my mood was good despite Bane’s nighttime antics.

    Then Tuesday rolled in with its favorite trick: alarm sabotage.

    • Bane decided 3 AM was a good time to go outside, so I laid back down and overslept and missed my run.
    • Energy was decent, but it set the tone for the week: start-stop, a little frustrated, but still trying.

    By Wednesday, I rallied for chest and triceps—good session, solid pump, and even a dog walk. I felt like I was back on track…until the back half of the week.

    Here’s the honest part:

    • Thursday was a “I’m doing stuff, but not the stuff I planned” day. I hit mobility and treadmill walking instead of running.
    • Friday, I woke up with a headache and waved the white flag on my gym session.
    • Saturday? Full fuck it mode. Saw the scale jump, got frustrated, and just froze up.

    But here’s the reality check I had to swallow with my coffee:

    • My waist is down 0.28 inches and tape-measured body fat dropped 0.41%.
    • Scale weight lies in the short term. Tape and trends tell the truth.

    I can see the pattern now: bad sleep + emotional scale reaction = spiral.

    Next week’s mantra:

    Move every day, lift three times, track most days, sleep like I mean it.

    Starting all of this over again reminds me of one of the old old old cars, when they had to crank the engine with a lever. It’s hard to get stared, it bucks and fights and doesn’t want to do it, but if you kept at it, sure as shit it would go. I’ll keep cranking, and eventually I’m gonna catch, and I’m gonna go.

    Still lifting.
    Still losing.
    Still showing up. (Usually.)